Dear Fellow Bed rester

Dear Fellow bedrester,

For whatever reasons and period you are lying; welcome to the gang. While it may seem taxing, it’s in the understanding that it will finish very soon and you are not going to come back to this again.

The last time when I was on bed rest due to a slipped disc. I behaved like I had a cancer, the period depressed me and that delayed the recovery. All day I stared walls and watched the broken love stories of Lizards, that lived in our house.

There were three of them, two male and one female. I think I am correct about the genders, as two always fought and followed the third. During One such fatal battle, one of them lost its tail; and I realized feminism sucks even with Lizards. There was now the tail less ‘majnu lizard’ with two lovers. I still feel bad for the loner sometimes. Their fatal encounters always scared me. What if they fell on me or my bed. But I think they pittied me and always stayed away. Moreover, they all had a regular path and routine. Loitering around tublight, catching flies, fighting with the other Males and chasing the female.

Recently, i again got to bed rest for reasons. Unfortunately, there are no Lizards in our house this time and spiders are too shy. But it isn’t about Lizards and Spiders. It’s about realising that the rest of your office is jealous of you and isn’t it the long break you have always wanted from work?

Bed rest is actually a tiring and very taxing affair. The immobility makes little things very challenging. This might lead to real depression. Feelings of ‘Isro launching another satellite and you are just being a potato’ roam around. Anyways you were not working on a satellite( Or may be). u hate it. Want to run away from it. The max you can do is, may be a twitch.  If you have people to take your care, look, this is the worst it can get. So now we can look at the positives.

Just remember, it will finish. And you are not coming back to this again. Is it not an opportunity?

Frieda Cahlo created master pieces from bed, you can do other things. Starting with the long list of movies n books you wanted to read. May be write. How about a life’s introspection. Have you heard about the joy called ‘ eating on bed’?

To everyones surprise, you can even dance while lying and this is very important. While the passiveness favours one part of your body, the immobility affects adversely on the others. N when you finally  stand your other body parts will decide to revolt. Movement is the key. May  be a toe, a brow or just heaving of chest with occasional lefts and rights of head and last but not the least tightening and releasing of which ever muscle you can feel. This will give you enough blood circulation to get the zing.

And when you get on those two precious feet, life begins afresh. It’s like you were chosen to cherish to knowledge of good health, nature and freedom. You start acknowledging everything mundane. You might start living again.

‘ O dear bed rester,

You lie for your self,

So make it a merry occasion

Some words with friends and maybe with your own self.’

Happy bedrest, Get well soon.

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GENDER EQUALITY- a misnomer

While others applaud over a lady officer, taking her Little daughter to night patrol, I stand with a flag of doubt. Was it safe for a kid to go on a night patrol?

First, kudos to the mother for being so dedicated and sincere. But secondly, i wonder what came as a compulsion for her to take her kid to the patrol.

If the stand was an individual inspiration, I am afraid this will inspire many other seniors to urge their junior/ fellow level women officers to take their kids on night patrolling. Or if it was a compulsion, why?

It questions the code and conduct in such working situations.

Are we blinded to see the probable dangerous situations with a kid on patrol? Are there no rules on – no kids in patrolling? When women can take two years leave, why the officer didn’t take the leave? I wonder. I understand the child might have cried to stay with her mom, and may be she had no choice. But, Why she had no choice?

There was one similar case in a foreign land where a lady brought her baby on feed to a board meeting. Well, a board meeting, during day time is lot more different then a night patrol. And yes, there is a world where mothers in jobs get a good night sleep every night.

As a woman and mother, I always question my standards of equality with men. But I always feel that we as individuals have failed to identify our differences and qualities. Yes, women can become great warriors, yes they can do everything that a man does. But when they are mothers they need rest. Their body needs at least one year of self recuperation, and with a growing kid she needs two years for herself and her kid. Kids need at least one parent after school hours and that is until theyare grown. And this is a fact. All justifications of equality fail here. If we keep crying the melodies of equality, ours and our kids lives will suffer. We are very different from men, and we need those differences to be sorted out before doing the same jobs. We double work to get same efficiency as men during our periods, our capabilities are affected. We cannot run for sometime after a delivery. And these are the most natural processes that can only be sorted after we acknowledge them.

In a country where development is the need of every moment, a child’s sleep has never been a matter of concern for anyone. Because we have bigger issues to resolve, Caused by a grown up kid with difficult childhood. So lets ignore the early years of a child, most important for its mental and physical growth. And lets fit into a system ideally designed for men, not women or father’s or kids or families.

I am still wondering, how many more night patrols the lady officer did and her child had to sleep in the car with her after her story.

Ten jamuns for 50

As a kid I reckon eating jamuns straight from the trees. So when I last saw ten pieces of Jamun for 50Rs in Mumbai, I was in a state of culinary and monetary shock. My desire of celebrating to the purple sweetness faded. And I and my daughter, standing next to the vendor, waited for our turn for our limited source of joys.

A locale with her daughter inquired the rate and looked at the jamuns thoughtfully. Her daughter was about six years old. Like my daughter, her daughter had also pulled her to the vendor. Mumbai shopping culture is not very bargain friendly, so the delay in purchase convinced me, that the lady was short of money. She looked at her daughter who was still admiring the purple beauties. Just like my daughter. For a moment I thought to share ours. But the vendor agreed to give a few pieces for ten Rupees. The little girl carefully cupped the berries and smiled content.

I wanted to write so, but in fact the vendor offered something in Marathi, the lady denied and before I could offer, the lady and the girl where lost in the crowd. Those I bought that day where the most bitter jamuns of my life.

That whole evening I only wondered about my childhood and the beautiful trees around our house.  Amrood, imli, Ganga Imli, aam, jamun; we had grown up with them. I reckon, we never bought Amrood or Ganga Imli from market. They were just next door. And aam was always stolen. It was a popular belief that stolen and parrot bitten mangoes are the sweetest.

How can a childhood exist without these sweet pleasures of nature. Shouldn’t Such joys be uninhibited……… Free?

Trees are sources of livelihoods and not business growth modules. We don’t need to be great social workers to provide happiness to our kids. But our passive attitude towards deforestation is limiting lives. Fruits from a mall can never inculcate nature love. Only one who has spent himself in the shades of a mango tree and sucked the heavenly yellows right from the tree can understand the precious ness of these trees. Lets bring back trees to childhood. Let them have them for free. The decor plants or Palm trees alone can never serve the purpose. Let’s bring jamun, Amrood, Aam back for our kids. Let’s do it!